kristin has been a bad kristin
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
