When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
