Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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