I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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