Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm eating all of the evidence.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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