But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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