operation harelip BJ is a go
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
