thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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