I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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