Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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