I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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