We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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