I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
