hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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