Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he was CRYING into my vagina
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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