I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
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she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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