We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
