Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
