His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Found your dick twin last night
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
