Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
