apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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