It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
