I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize