Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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