So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You're like the curious george of whores
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Terrible idea I love it
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
