dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
