just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize