Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
