Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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