Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
