i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
