So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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