hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
