When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
All I want is dick and wine.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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