"it" just moved
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
