After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think we might need a safe word for this...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize