I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
