This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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