I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
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when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
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"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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