So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
