I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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