im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
