I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
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First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
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Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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