She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
