I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize