This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
