my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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