Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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