Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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