I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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