Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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