i barfeds in our rink
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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