So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
