I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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