come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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