Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
