you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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