i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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