I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize