My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
