I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
