My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We had sex on a dog bed..
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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