hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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