dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
