she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
