fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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