we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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