I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
