porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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