windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
