Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
