Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
