Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
